Pep talk

July 27, 2011

Wyatt is doing a little better today. He’s still lethargic but his breathing has improved a little. He is getting treatments every 6 hours to thin out his secretions from his trach so that he can cough it up more easily. So far these treatments seemed to help stabilize his oxygen saturations. Even though nothing alarming came back from the blood work, his numbers are off which indicates that he is fighting some sort of an infection. They also found white blood cells in the mucous sample they took from his trach which supports that diagnosis. Therefore, they are covering their basis and are continuing the antibiotics. Hopefully he’s just tired from fighting that infection and will improve with the antibiotics. No results on the genetic test yet (CCHS). The doctor doesn’t think it will come back positive but we’re trying to hunt down those results so we can know for sure. Since Wyatt has not done anything according to what was expected, I don’t trust the doctor’s instinct until I see it first hand in the report. We better get an answer this week… As for myself, I’m back in the land of the sane people – I think. I started the day off by going to the gym. It was well overdue and it felt really good to let all my frustration out by adding on the weight to each machine. For those of you who don’t know me that well, as a Personal Trainer, I am not a fan of boring drawn out routines, especially not isolated cardio. 30 minutes of strength training is all you need if you do it right, for strength and cardio effects. And let me tell you, I made sure those 30 minutes were worth it! (Not recommended when pregnant!) Not having been able to do a hard workout since I got pregnant with Wyatt, I have to be honest, today’s workout kicked my butt. I was nauseous and a bit dizzy afterwards but nothing a glass of orange juice couldn’t fix. I had forgotten how much I needed a good workout. I’m sure I’ll feel it tomorrow but I miss that feeling of being a little sore, so it’ll be ok. So this goes out to all my clients following this blog. As depressed as I felt last night, and I still woke up that way this morning, I could have easily grabbed some comfort food and jumped back into the self-pity pool. I had no motivation to workout and I would have loved nothing more than some brownies and a strong strawberry daiquiri. And worst of all, people would have understood and told me that it would be ok. No one would have even second guessed such a decision. I would have just gotten a hug and a pat on the back with the words “It’ll be ok. You’re strong. You’ll get through this”. Bullshit. Instead, I chose not to drown myself in my own misery. Self-pity does not help anyone, especially not myself. It’s not worth it. No excuse is good enough because when I look at Wyatt, he doesn’t get to choose. He can’t make foolish choices just because the right decision is too hard. He has to fight every day or there won’t be another day for him. So to all my clients out there, don’t take life for granted. Get up and live life to your full potential. Forget about image and weight for a moment and focus on what’s really important in your life. That’s what your motivation and your goals should be. And now go out and fight for it. Don’t let fear hold you back. You know what you want and need, now do something about it. You can only fight if you’re healthy. So stop trying to think of reasons why you can’t accomplish something and just do it. The only thing standing in your way is you. So surround yourself with people that do not just pat you on the back. Instead be with people that call you out, people who support you but also challenge you and push you when needed. Stop hiding from the truth and get out there to live. If Wyatt can fight for his life every single day, then so should you.