Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed anyone that
Wyatt could be where he’s at now simply by introducing him to some basic ASL signs.
Here was a kid who was completely non-verbal and had meltdowns every single
day, multiple times a day. He was the kid who had a meltdown simply for being
in the same room as a therapist. No medical professional knew how to help us.
There was no silver lining. We had essentially given up hope that his behavior
would ever change. Communication and behavior progress seemed impossible.
It was out of pure desperation that we decided to stop
therapies altogether and introduce signs. That decision came with an enormous
amount of guilt for not being able to help our son, for going against the recommended standard therapies, and therefore the fear of failing as a parent. But we had no options left. The medical alternative we were given was to medicate him to keep him calm. That was not an option in our book. That was the point when I decided to trust my intuition. Medicating him into a drowsy state would not teach him to communicate and deal with frustration. We had to go out on a whim and cross all fingers and toes. Making that bold decision also meant that we had a very lonely road ahead of us because no one had dealt with this severity of a
behavior before where every meltdown was a life-threatening emergency. I can’t
speak for my husband but I personally felt that everything we had tried was
unsuccessful and that if we kept going like this, the next breath holding
episode might kill our son.
“Pain is a necessary process of growth”, so I’ve been told. Desperation
when you’re trying to help your own child falls right in line with that. So, I made
the only decision I felt I could and dove in head first, immersed myself in ASL
vocabulary, modeled the signs daily, all while clinging on to the mere hope
that it will pay off.
And let me tell you, it did pay off in more ways than I could
have ever imagined! I was simply hoping for Wyatt to learn to tell me his very
basic wants and needs so the frustration at home would ease. Instead, he
exceeded my wildest imagination. Not only did he start to recognize the signs
and eventually sign them back but his whole behavior changed. As his vocabulary
grew he became less and less frustrated. He started to voluntarily interact
with the people around him, which was something he had never done before. He
learned to read and imitate facial expressions and body language and even showed
empathy. If you have experience with Autism, you know that those are HUGE
milestones that some kids on the spectrum never meet. He’s now excited to tell
me about his day and invites me to play with him, he even engages in pretend
play. But what really touched me the most is that he now wants human contact.
Every parent wants their child to hug them, snuggle up with them on the couch
and show them they love them. Those moments didn’t happen for us for several
years. Wyatt didn’t want to be touched, he didn’t want to engage. I am happy to
say that Wyatt now WANTS to give and receive hug, he now wants snuggle time and
he loves when we blow bubbles on his belly. I will never take those moments for
granted because it took us taking a giant leap of faith and many years of
patience and hard work to now have those moments with him.
Though they seem minor in comparison to the human connection we've built with our son, there have also been other communication benefits
that we could not have foreseen. For a reason unbeknownst to us, Wyatt to this
day at 5 years old seems to comprehend signed language better than spoken
language. Even though he was already 3 years old when he started signing back
consistently, he only started making vocal attempts when he knew the ASL sign
first. It could be a matter of self-confidence on his part to make sure he is understood
even if the spoken word does not come out clearly. We don’t know the reason. Either
way, we saw how much of an impact signing had on him and how much growth it
produced, so we stuck with it. He still struggles with oral language but he can
always tell us what’s on his mind by signing! Isn’t that the goal of every
parent, to understand and communicate with your child? Speech is nice but
communication is what builds that parent-child bond!
Have you started signing with your special needs child? If
so, what progress have you seen so far?